Its beautiful how life unfolds itself in the most subtle manner and silently answers every single question that had baffled our minds at some point of time in the past. When I left home to pursue higher studies, I left back a mom, a dad and a brother seven years older to me who, for some foul trickeries of fate could never go out of our little hometown to pursue his passions.
Back then it wasnt so hard to leave home, for I knew that my dreams were calling out to me and that the fire of youth will compensate for all the longings I had for the cosy bed at home, and the bright warm faces that had lit up my world until then.
But last sunday when bored with the plain hostel food, I joined my friend's mother for lunch at their place, I realised something that I feel is worth a share.
Brothers. Sisters. Siblings. Cousins. These are words that bring in happy images of carefree childhood days isn't it? While all young adults and adults reading this who have moved out of their parental homes would agree to me, teens who still have fights over the TV remote or the bigger piece of the cake with their siblings might slightly differ. Nonetheless, with time, each of us do grow beyond that phase and kinda start missing all those lovely times when false complaints to our parents about our elder siblings hitting us would get them scoldings and beatings and bring us immense pleasure, when showing off our sibling's belongings as if they are our own in front of peers brought in pride, when meals together with them was routine and not rare. While some lucky siblings continue to share the same bond long after they have matured and started leading individual family lives, most lose that warm touch of reminiscent childhood.
In some cases, siblings die untimely deaths, while in others they go through personal problems which drift us apart. Reasons are many but the outcome is the same: an unexpressed, suppressed and unattended longing for the partners who made childhood memorable, the ones whose roots are same as ours - our brothers, sisters and cousins.
You might wonder how is all this relevant to my lunch with my friend's mom!? Well, the lady I am talking about is a strong, independent woman who swiftly manages home and work and is an ideal modern day woman. She is probably in her early fifties and is a person whose outlook on life makes me want to become a philantrophist and live a life of impact (which is perhaps everyone's ultimate goal that gets lost in achieving one's interim targets). She was ironing some clothes post lunch and had opened her wardrobe to put the clothes in when I commended the precision with which everything was placed and organised in her cupboard. She then said, "None of this is mine Beta, all this belongs to my younger sister." I knew that the sister she was referring to had died in a car accident a couple of years back and an acute pain struck me then. There was agony in her eyes when she said, "Who will keep her belongings if I dont!? Its funny how life unfolds itself.
What I wear to work never bothered me, but she always brought in new dresses for me to wear to work. I never bought myself a dress after she left, nor will I ever." This struck my conscience so bad that for a moment I felt like running back to my sister and brother and hugging them tight.
None of us know what the future holds. Who is around for how long is a mystery. What exists today might just disappear tomorrow and there is nothing you can do about it. Its just the law of nature! So why wait until tomorrow!? Expressing our fondness for our siblings and loved ones takes nothing from us. Not everyone is equally expressive, I too find it very difficult to say what rests in my heart but if we do not even try opening up then we might end up living in our cocoons forever. That is scarier than even death!
Its so much easier to speak when you can than living with the regret of never opening up while things were still bright and there still was time! This incident has changed my outlook and approach. I hope its an eye opener to all those beings who let their emotions lie in a cocoon as well!
