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And thus spoke her Conscience

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Describing her isn't easy. She is a girl who hardly knows herself. But the irony is that, there is hardly any person who has analysed himself or herself so much in depth as has been done by her. She knows her weaknesses and is aware of her strengths. She has put together all the scattered pieces of the puzzle that defines her and indeed everything fits perfectly. But there is something still missing. She is in search of a thing lost. She has the energy but no fixed motive. She has the potential but lacks the passion. She has wings but longs for flight. She has dreams but fails to achieve them. She is happy but sheds tears when alone. She is a mystery even to her own soul. How then can I, a mere spectator, dare to describe her.

I met her years back, when from being a crawling toddler she had learnt to finally stand. I was there when she resolved to make a mark for herself. I was constantly there when on so many ocassions, she went out of her comfort zone and walked the extra mile for bringing smiles to people's faces. I watched her become a strong lady who had had the bitter taste of betrayals and heartbreaks and failures. Yes, I was always there. Friends leave, siblings may not always be there, parents expire; what remains are the little things like me that are silent spectators to every success and every setback that a soul endures. I am her conscience. And believe me, she has fire within her that burns like lava out of a volcano.

She doesnt know whom to listen to anymore. She has lost the sense of what's right and what's wrong. Her opinion was never valued and nor is it valued now. She is a loyal lover in the day and a passionate companion to unknown men at night. Her duties have beautifully merged with the suppressed desires of her heart and though amidst guilt, she is enjoying the life she is leading. She is not a whore. She is just a young girl fallen prey to love at an age when she was supposed to engage in mere flings. What she does is not wrong. The mysteries of her nights are known to no third person and yet there is a sense of remorse in her heart everytime she embraces her man in her bosom. While a devout lover on one hand, she is an explorer of possibilities on the other. Her love for her better half makes her stand still and give up on her desires but the burning fire in her makes her a mysterious vagabond in search of a different kind of happiness. She is two persons living two different lives. For some she is an elegant lady and for the rest, an unattainable mystery. She is on the run. She knows not what she is up to. She grabs whatever comes on her way. She gets allured. She is footloose. She is a dreamer.


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