What nostalgia tastes like

I got home four days ago. I was away for over three months. I know that isn't such a long duration and that there are a lot of people out there who have been away from home for years at a stretch. But this day and this trip feels different. 

Have you ever smelled nostalgia? We all relive the past and feel "nostalgic", but can you tell what nostalgia tastes like!? Well here's what makes me get the taste of the dinner I had over a decade ago on a lightless evening when inverters hadn't made their entry and electricity services sucked more than they do now.

Back when I was seven, my elder sister was preparing for her tenth boards. She was a studious devil who set a bench mark for the others in the family by sticking her butt (for hours at a stretch) to her white armless plastic chair in front of the small wooden study table in an uninteresting corner of the bedroom we both shared. We lived (and still live) not in office quarters (like most of my friends do) but in our own house and hence the state electricity board was what brightened our homes. A mild wind is enough reason for powercut to come and make lives difficult in our area. And in those days, these blackouts were more frequent. For us ordinary kids, black outs provided the perfect chance to throw away the textbooks, go out in the pitch dark verandahs and watch fireflies do their dance. And on days when the moon shined in its fullness and the  evening breeze felt merrier than other days, carefree childhood summoned us to forget the unit test of the next morn and live in that fleeting moment of stargazing and daydreaming. But my nerd of an elder sister was indifferent to the beauty of blackouts and oblivious of the sweet joy of leisure. She would continue studying with a candle lit and barely even lift her head up to look around. Being the little notorious monkey that I was, I would run indoors after play with my high spirited shouts and songs and watch her concentrate on textbooks that have not been able to interest me to this date!

Soon it would be dinner time and Mum would serve food for all. I dont remember the menu but everything appears delicious to me now. On days when Dad was in the "mood", he'd cook a special dish for us all and we'd devour on it not cause it really was delectable but because of its rarity.

Now thirteen years later, I do not find my sister at home (not dead, just working elsewhere) and Mum and Dad have more wrinkles on their faces than I had ever before seen. Although the problem of powercut persists, candles are no longer needed. Inverters have replaced candles and we are barely affected by the prolonged powercuts. I never had to study by the light of a candle (like my sister had done during her crucial years of school). That day from my childhood which has its place in my memory  as one lit with candles and dancing fireflies and the 'Papa special dish' eventually got lost amidst inner conflicts, responsibilities, setbacks, personal battles and other such things. But today...today when I'm home on my winter break, when once again there is a prolonged powercut; I find the taste of that special dish at the tip of my tongue. The smell of the chilly winter evening when I saw my sister sit and give shape to her life, that sight of a dozen fireflies spreading happiness and everything else that made childhood worth being a fond memory return to me and nostalgia suddenly seems tangible.

And coming to think of it, I realise that life just recreated a day from my childhood for me! For the first time in ten years, our inverter ran out of battery today. It has been constantly drizzling since last night. Winter is at its peak for a place like ours and candles have been brought out once again, just like old times. Dad too has announced that he will cook something special today and the "Papa special dish" is being created as we speak. My childhood is right in front of me, right here in my present. I don't have a more befitting description of peace than this!