I am a F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan and love any F.R.I.E.N.D.S reference. I love it when I come across stuff related to F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I happen to have a "I'll be there for you" pillow and a poster in my room which whenever looked at, leaves me with a smile.
But right now, as I hear the vehicles rattling by in the street outside, and sit alone in my hostel room hoping to get that one call or message from the person I want to hear from, I realise how unhappy I am from within at this moment in spite of having life's best blessings.
Its a monday and I didnt have to go to college, I was broke and got gifted with cash from an Uncle, while everyone else is sulking in the heat elsewhere, I am sitting cosily under covers because I am at Shillong - a place so soothing weather wise. And what else!? Yeah, I am studying dramas and novels to pass exams which is what I always loved. So life is basically being nice to me. The only thing making me sad are my expectations that I never really speak out loud for people to understand.
My pillow and my poster shriek out to me saying "I'll be there for you" and it finally dawns on me that maybe this is what I need to do. How many times have you and I looked into the mirror and said ourselves that we will be there for our inner self when it feels low and lonely!? I do not know about you but I have never done that. I expect others to cheer me up when internally I have already decided to be unhappy. I expect others to be there for me when I never was there for myself.
"WE" are our biggest comrades. No body lives with us for so long a duration as we live with ourselves. Your parents, your siblings, your bestfriends, your spouses, your love partners are all there and yet in your deepest moment of grief or solitude its just your inner conscience speaking to you with an unheard voice that you have for company.
So I am gonna go now and hang out with myself. I am still expecting that call but who cares!? I have myself, ain't that enough!?
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