The voice

It took me twenty years to realise that perfection is a myth. A zillion expectations shattered to pieces and dreams gone down the drain were what convinced me that life is all about flaws and the art of embracing them.

As I write this, certain realisations take a firm position in my head. The girl who believed in fairy tales and perfect romances talked about in books and shown in movies now realises that your partner may barely surprise you with unannounced visits, gifts, chocolates or flowers after the initial months have passed and still be as much in love with you as he was at the beginning. The kid at heart who has outgrown physically finally understands that home,at one point, is not the abode of warmth you believed it to be when away but the reason behind all stress when returned to and yet somehow the most happy place. The believer now acknowledges that lives around are not so colorful as portrayed to be in social media posts but contain as many sad stories as her own. As maturity hits this wanderer, she becomes more tolerant and reclusive. And in her conversations with herself, she even realises that people often assume themselves to be something they never were or could possibly be. You might believe yourself to be the Ranbir Kapoor of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani but might actually grow up to be similar to Deepika's character in the movie. How then do you deal with it? Do you push yourself so hard on becoming the person who always believed you were or do you accept yourself as you are or do you dangle in between the two keeping one leg on either side and lead a discontent life? I know I do the last thing and hence that anxiety when put amidst party enthusiasts... that feeling of being unwanted and in a totally wrong place and time that has been ever so present wins over my otherwise present confidence and makes me this timid, awkward person with a furious face amidst faces that only smile.

The best reflection of our true self comes to us not when we stand in front of a mirror or pose for a picture, the best reflection is found when we take a little time off the things that we engage in on a daily basis or the worries that haunt us perennially and spend some time with the voice that comes from within...the voice that knows it all.